Author Archive

Week #1 : -8.6 lbs

Total Lost: 8.6 lbs

 

Can’t complain at that =)

Fat Kid Out.

 

I had a few moments this weekend where I could feel the strength and willpower I had before I got pregnant and had Charlie, before I had postpartum, before I went on medication…

Moment 1 – I went to a card making workshop today and the host put out a TON of different yummy looking snacks.  The old fat kid could socialize and not touch the food that didn’t fit in with my program, but after having Charlie it was like I left my willpower behind at the hospital and I would eat anything and everything I could and then feel shame and guilt afterward.  BUT today I said no thank you and it didn’t even phase me that everyone else was eating snacks and I wasn’t.

Moment 2 – I got iced coffees for myself and my mum today, mine was supposed to have splenda in it rather than sugar syrup.  The girl seemed confused as to which one was which and sort of pointed at one non-noncommittally and said “ya that one”…which made me know that she had no idea at all.  A few weeks ago I would have said feck it and haphazardly picked one and drank it but today I came home, gave them both to my mum and made my own iced coffee with instant coffee ice and splenda…it might not have been as good as one from McDonald’s but better than making a bad choice.

Maybe just maybe the successful not so fat kid is back?  I don’t want to jinx myself but before going on medication for postpartum I could not understand why I was having such a hard time staying focused and committed to my program, but now I am feeling great about it and can’t wait to reach my goals and feel as wonderful as I did when I lost all the weight last time.  While I don’t want to use postpartum as an excuse for gaining as much weight as I have over the past year I couldn’t wrap my brain around how I was feeling and the lack of control I had over myself so I know it was at least a contributing factor that I’m happy to say no longer seems to be holding me back.

Ingredients:

- IP Potato Puree Pkg

-75mls water

Directions:

Mix water with potato puree, and spread in a preheated pan on medium heat.

Flip once the bottom has set.

Fill with your favorite ingredients.

*this is the simplest recipe ever!  I added some spices in with the potato but that was personal preference.  I filled it with cucumber, peppers, onions and tomato and tossed the veggies in a bit of olive oil, lemon juice & mrs. dash.  The bread is mild in taste but thick enough to hold a lot of veggies.  It literally took me about 5 minutes from start to finish.

*not sure where this recipe originated but just wanted to point out that it’s not mine, but the terrible picture taken with my iPhone unfortunately is accredited to the fat kid =)

Enjoy!

Update – I had a fat kid idea…I turned this into a cheesy flat bread using 1/2 oz of low fat cheddar & some seasonings mixed in to the bread batter, then just let it get crispy on each side and enjoyed it hot along side my salad for lunch and it was soooo tasty!

And another fat kid idea – I added a finely sliced scallion, some onion seasoning, salt & pepper to the puree and turned it into a green onion cake!

 

 

I have struggled to write this post, I’ve written it, re-written it, deleted it, ignored it and yet here I sit writing it again.  I have been feeling like a failure, I have written over and over again for the past year saying I am re-committed to a healthy lifestyle and then wondered off and eaten cheeseburgers for months on end.  I have beaten myself up over and over again over why I can’t seem to focus or stay committed, I have ignored the scale, obsessed over the scale and hidden under my covers with my eyes squeezed shut hoping it would all just go away.

But, I just got fatter.  I got fatter, I was more miserable, I couldn’t bare to look at myself in the mirror, any chance I could get I would haul my fat self into bed and hide from the world.  I started yelling at my kids for no reason, stopped seeing my friends, stopped enjoying the things I love the most…stopped caring about myself…couldn’t stand my children, wanted the world to disappear and then one day it dawned on me.  This fat kid might just be struggling with postpartum depression and maybe just maybe I’m not the worst mum, the most pathetic fat person with no willpower…maybe there is some hope?

I went to my doctor about 3 weeks ago and mustered up all the courage I could and squeaked out a few words that went something like “hate myself, bad mum, want to die” before becoming a crying snotty mess.  She figured out the rest and here I am a few weeks later feeling a little bit better every day.  I’ve stopped yelling at my babies for no reason, I’ve stopped sleeping all day, I’ve even found myself smiling and laughing again…In fact recently I’ve begun feeling like maybe I can face this weight loss thing again.

I braved up this morning and stepped on the scale.  The number wasn’t pretty but at least I know what I’m working with and for the first time in a long time I’m not feeling so hopeless.  So there it is world, the fat kid is trying again, only this time I think it might actually be for real, but don’t worry, I know…The proof is in the pudding…mmmmm pudding….no, focus fat kid.  The proof is in the celery.

Just checking in – still going strong on program and even taking all the herbs my herbalist has me on as well…I’ll blog about that later (note to self: write blog about crazy herbalist)

The Good: Been on program 100%

The Bad: Still fat

The Ugly: Still having problems fitting into my fat clothes.
I had a yummy dinner last night that I had forgotten about until I was looking in the freezer for dinner ideas and stumbled across some ground chicken and remembered my love for Asian Lettuce Cups.

  Asian Lettuce Cups

Ingredients:

5-8 oz ground chicken

2 c diced veggies (I use a mix of zucchini, peppers, onions, broccoli, & celery)

butter/bib/boston lettuce leaves (or can use romaine leaves)

bean sprouts to garnish

Sauce Ingredients:

1/2 tbsp reduced sodium soy sauce

1/2 tbsp olive oil

2 -3 drops sesame oil

ginger/garlic/red pepper flakes/splenda to taste

Directions:

Saute up diced veggies and remove from saute pan.

Brown ground chicken (season with sea salt & pepper)

While cooking the meat & veggies, combine all sauce ingredients

Put sauteed veggies back into pan, mix and reheat.

Push meat and veggie mixture to side and create space in the middle to pour sauce, let it heat up in the middle until it starts bubbling and then combine with meat and veggie mixture

Serve in lettuce cups with some bean sprouts and sesame seeds (if you want)